If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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