I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
