i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
