just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
