life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
