this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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