Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
