Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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