I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
it's great music for shaving your balls
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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