I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
