ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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