Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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