I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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