OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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