Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There r osticjed everywhere
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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