just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
