She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
