Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
