Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
