Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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