i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize