Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
