You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
