He is an equal opportunity slut.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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