i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
