My first STD was from a foam party
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Blood and glitter go together right?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
