Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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