This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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