peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
