It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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