If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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