You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize