idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Congratulations! We have a period
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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