OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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