What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i believe in u and ur pee
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
