just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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