I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
