He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
