these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
