What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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