new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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