if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
