I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
