dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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