She went from zero to smokin in five shots
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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