Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Come share oat with me in your robe
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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