He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
