He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize