Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
