Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize