More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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