Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Enjoy the penises
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
