I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
