**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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