Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
