she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
