Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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