I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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