Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
