I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
