The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
