My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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