Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
