He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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