***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
