to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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