i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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