why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize