I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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