I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
