I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize